True Wealth is Control Over Your Own Time

It Took More Than 10 Years…

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I first applied for Randy to be admitted to the VA Health Care system more than 10 years ago. I tried again after we moved to Florida. He was denied both times because our household income exceeded the threshold Congress set in a law passed in 2003.

It’s not a particularly big deal because, as a military retiree, he (and I) are eligible for comprehensive medical benefits. Still, there are some things that are available through the VA Health Care system that are not covered for retirees. That doesn’t make a lot of sense, but that’s the way the system works. One of those things, specific to our interest in enrolling Randy in the VA system, is hearing aids. After all the time spent on the flight line during his Air Force career, Randy’s hearing is shot. He wasn’t looking for a service connected disability. He simply wanted help in paying for hearing aids, which run in the thousands of dollars.

When Randy’s application was denied after we moved to Florida, we went to visit the VA Benefits office provided by Charlotte County. Since we’re both veterans, aging veterans, and I am always thinking 2 steps ahead, we decided to start getting our affairs in order and wanted to know what aging and death benefits we have so we could plan around them. In our meeting (in February 2025) with EZ (the name of the gregarious VA rep) we discovered that Congress passed another law in 2022 called the PACT Act that expanded VA benefits to those who were exposed to toxic substances during their time in service. Because Randy served in the late stages of the Vietnam War in the Pacific theater, he appeared to be eligible under the terms of the PACT Act. Sure enough, his application was finally approved shortly before we left on the Grand Adventure Road Trip.

Randy had his first VA appointment, with an audiologist, on Wednesday. Dr. Major tested his hearing and said that, yes, Randy’s hearing is bad, and he hasn’t been using the part of his brain that assists hearing for a long time. I already knew that, of course. The things he heard me say were often laughable. For example, I’d say “You have a dental appointment tomorrow.” He’d look at me and say, “Your dad is doing needlepoint!?” It’s been exasperating. For years. Especially since my dad moved to heaven in 2017. That old joke about women talking twice as much as men is certainly true at our house, but in my defense it’s because I have to repeat everything twice.

He also said that Randy’s situation is a major indicator for the early onset of dementia. We didn’t understand the correlation between hearing loss and dementia though. I think that scared both of us a little. Dr. Major said the damage is irreversible, but that hearing aids help slow the progression of the damage. Randy’s new hearing aids will be here in 2 weeks.

Please join me, and all those who care about Randy, in rejoicing. And God Bless the VA Healthcare System.

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14 responses to “It Took More Than 10 Years…”

  1. Carolyn naples Avatar
    Carolyn naples

    Glad he is finally getting them. Now if he will wear them? Marty doesn’t wear them all the time like they told him to. They told him if he would wear them every day he’d get used to the background noise. Good luck.

    1. Laurie Grathen Avatar

      I think the dementia thing scared him enough for him to give them a fair shot at improving the quality of life. And, this is what I asked him for last Christmas as his gift to me (that he get tested and fitted for hearing aids, if appropriate), so if he doesn’t it’s like taking his Christmas present back from me every day. Randy’s an honorable man and if I point that out to him, he’ll keep his promise to me. (Tee hee…my momma didn’t raise no dummie.)

  2. Bill Pippin Avatar
    Bill Pippin

    Well Randy, I’m right there with you. I received my hearing aids about two years ago. They have helped me a little, but that is what the VA told me. Like you, I have tinnitus as well and it is fairly loud. It seems that people that varying degrees of loudness, frequency, and pitch. Mine sounds like millions of crickets. It isn’t deafening of course, but it seems to merge the zones between voice and noise. I have talked to right many people in our shoes, and the hearing aids have helped more than they haven’t…I hope you are in the first group.
    Laurie’s story about your time together with this malady, sounds just like ours. The missed words that leave a normal comment confusing, the improperly heard words that lead to funny outcomes, and whole sentences that are gibberish. I told Kay years ago, that I was going to write a little memoir intitled “What you said, but what I heard”. To my knowledge, that is about the only aspect that is even remotely funny. The rest of the story, at least for me, not so much.
    People don’t really understand, as I didn’t, that this is a real downer. By not being able to hear well, you are a stranger to any and most all conversations unless background noises are few. This is something I have told very few people, but I can honestly say that probably have not understood 75% to 85% of the words my grandsons have spoken to me. Both talk fast, not all that loudly, and do not annunciate that well…for someone in my shoes. Everyone else seems to have no problem. I could go on and on, but I just wanted to share what this mess can do. The only thing that buffers this situation is God’s love for me. I know that whatever happens, I am loved and my future is secure. While I am still on earth, Kay will do her best and be with me.
    Randy. I am hoping your situation improves with the hearing aids, and it probably will. I know that everyone who knows you, will be praying for you. Keep us up to date, as we ARE with you.

    1. Randy Grathen Avatar
      Randy Grathen

      Wow Bill. Thanks for sharing that. Like you, many times I have to try and fill in the blank by guessing what word might fit into the context of the sentence. Other times I’m completely at a loss for what was said. And I wholeheartedly agree with you about how fast kids talk today. They ALL do. And they don’t usually make eye contact so you don’t get any clue what they might be saying because you can’t “see” what they’re saying. I remember when I was a little kid my grandfather was always yelling at me to “look at me when you talk to me!” He never said, and I never knew that he had a hearing problem. Now I find myself telling Laurie the same thing.
      I think the biggest insult is when you ask someone to repeat what they said or to speak up and then they yell at you. They have NO idea what it’s like to live with tinnitus or hearing loss. The frustration of not being able to understand what was said. “Yes, I heard you speak, but I didn’t understand what you said.” I wish someone would invent a device that would replicate the specific sounds a person with tinnitus must endure ALL DAY LONG, and make some headphones that another person would wear so they would hear what we hear. Then try to carry on conversations throughout the day. Or fall asleep at night.
      Laurie can hear a pin drop from the other side of the house. She doesn’t know how lucky she is.

    2. Laurie Grathen Avatar

      Getting old ain’t for sissies, as my mom likes to say. Modern medical technology is so great in so many ways, the mechanical parts of it anyway and I’m so glad that some things can improve quality of life. I pray, for you and Randy, and for me and Kay, that the hearing aids improve the quality of life for all of us. If not, why bother?

  3. craig allen Mommaerts Avatar
    craig allen Mommaerts

    TY Jesus. In His time, always.

  4. Jill Nowak Avatar
    Jill Nowak

    I am happy he is getting help with the hearing aids.
    We will have to talk about this further as my husband suffers from hearing loss and almost complete loss in one ear and tinnitus.

    1. Laurie Grathen Avatar

      Can’t wait to see you and 23C again. Let’s set a date!

    2. Randy Grathen Avatar
      Randy Grathen

      Tinnitus has been my problem for decades. It drowns out voices, and road noise makes it even worse. Hopefully the hearing aids will shove the hissing/ringing/squealing into the background.

  5. Ellyn Avatar
    Ellyn

    So glad he is getting the assistance he needs

    And how wonderful for you that you won’t be repeating yourself anymore

    1. Laurie Grathen Avatar

      We’ll see, Ellyn. He’s going to have to retrain his brain to actually listen to me too. 😉

  6. Randy Grathen Avatar
    Randy Grathen

    I have done a lot of research over the years and tried several “remedies” all guaranteed to cure my tinnitus. Thank God I didn’t spend any money on these so called remedies. I kept telling Laurie, according to my research, there is no cure for tinnitus which turns out to be true. But, we also found out from Dr. Major that everyone has tinnitus. However, if your hearing is normal, your brain covers it up. You never hear it until your hearing starts to go. Then the hissing, ringing, screeching begins to manifest itself as it slowly gets louder and louder until it begins to drown out normal conversation. The damage that causes tinnitus IS NOT REVERSABLE. But hearing aids can slow the progression.

    So the moral of the story of that, is this. If you are starting to hear the ringing in your ears, swallow your pride if that’s what stopping you (“I’m to young to need hearing aids….”) and get checked out. Dementia is worse and permanent. Embarrassment isn’t!

    1. Laurie Grathen Avatar

      I’m so glad we’re at this stage before the dementia is apparent.

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