Has anyone ever asked you whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert? It’s a fairly common question, especially during job interviews during our working years. As a former human resources development manager, I know the value of the answer to this question when hiring an employee. But Aristotle said, “knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
You might think introversion is about being kind of shy and being an extrovert means you love to party all the time, but that’s a misconception. The distinction between the two really refers to how a person’s energy is recharged. Introverts get their energy from time alone, while extroverts get their energy from social interaction.
When I was an HR manager, I was “up” all the time. It was my job to plan activities, make them all work, cheerlead constantly, help make people feel valued, keep up the collective energy of the culture of the company. There were no days when I could close the door to shut out the people who worked in that company. It was my responsibility to get the folks who worked for that company to understand how important they were to the company’s success.
Because of my outward behavior, how comfortable and friendly I am (I hope people think I’m friendly!), people assume I’m an extrovert. Nothing could be further from the truth. Being “up” all the time is not hard for me, and I am a naturally positive, upbeat, outgoing, and optimistic human being. But that demeanor drains my energy (that is a fact, not a complaint) and my batteries are recharged only when I can be by myself, without people around me. At this age my battery is getting old and worn, and I need more charging than I did when I was younger. Randy, who never met a person he didn’t like and could talk to about almost anything, is exactly the same way.
During our nearly 8-week road trip, there was virtually no time for me to be alone. When we’re home, Randy and I have areas in our house where we go to be by ourselves, do what we what, when we want. After 50 years, we’ve worked out how to coexist comfortably. We each know, about ourselves and each other, what makes life good, when we can enjoy our time together and when we need some time alone to recharge our individual energy.
We survived the Grand Adventure Road Trip because we came to think of some of the time we had in the car together as our recharge time. There were hours and hours where we sat in silence together in that car, enjoying the ride, without feeling the need to entertain or even talk to each other. Except for that time in the car, there was no time on that road trip with the right conditions to recharge.
For the first few weeks after we got home from the road trip, we were home a lot catching up on chores and dealing with the water main break that happened while we were gone. When we did go out, Randy commented on how much traffic there was. After nearly 8 weeks on roads out west, in desolate areas, the traffic here wasn’t as bad as that I-35 corridor between San Antonio and Austin, Texas, but it was worse than we remember it being for this time of year.
There are trade-offs to living in paradise. During season in Florida, it gets really peopley, and we try to stick pretty close to home. We avoid restaurants and parks, beaches and tourist attractions during peak season. We’re content with our own sun, our own water, our own food, and our own company.
Often, though, friends and family visit Grathen’s Last Resort in those winter months. We do venture out into peopley Florida to take them to the things all the other visitors want to do at that time of year. At popular beaches like Siesta Key in Sarasota we’ve been known to circle the parking lot for close to an hour, praying we are lucky enough to be the first one waiting for a space when someone leaves. It’s not a particularly pleasant experience.
This week I noticed it was unusually busy in our normal stomping grounds. I went to Walmart on Thursday morning and was surprised by the level of activity and frenzy everywhere. I chalked it up to being the day before Halloween. I don’t know about where you live, but Halloween is becoming as big as Christmas as a decorating, dressing up, and party holiday. We were astonished by how all out the Twisted Fork, a popular restaurant located at the Port Charlotte Harley-Davidson dealership went for Halloween. It’s not my thing, I don’t get it, but hey…it’s a free country. And a party opportunity, and Lord knows how many people like to party!
On Saturday we had our monthly puzzle exchange. My friend Ellyn started this group 6 months ago to put some regularity into the puzzle exchange schedule. That regularity was the key to growing the group to be as big as it has become. For the first time in the several years I’ve been doing the puzzle exchange, the number of people who showed up was almost overwhelming to me. I didn’t expect or like my reaction to it, but there it was for all to see. My energy battery took a huge hit in the morning.
Later that day, I had to make an unexpected trip to Hobby Lobby to get yarn to finish a baby afghan on a deadline. It was the day after Halloween so I didn’t expect unusual crowds but gosh, I was shocked. The traffic was horrendous getting to the store, the parking lot was packed, drivers seemed impatient, and there had to be about 200 people IN Hobby Lobby.
When I walked through the doors, there were six checkouts open and each had lines with at least 6 people in them. Hobby Lobby had obviously stocked for Christmas. There was merchandise piled up to or hanging from the ceilings on every wall and fixture. Between the merchandise and the people, it felt claustrophobic in there. Normally I love to spend an hour browsing in that store, but I almost ran back to get the 2 skeins of yarn I needed. I couldn’t wait to get out of there! I didn’t know Hobby Lobby was having a 50% off Christmas sale, but that explained the crowds.
If I had a battery indicator on my forehead like my cell phone has on the home screen, you could have watched my energy drain as if I’d left the flashlight on my phone and stuck it in my purse.
We’ve lived in Florida for 4 and a half years now, and this is the first time I’ve been caught off guard that where we live might be too peopley.
I’ve learned over the years to stick close to home during snowbird season, to avoid 776 going into Port Charlotte on Tampa Bay Rays spring training game days, and to stay away from Mark Twain Lane and Dearborn Street on Halloween night. I’m adding Hobby Lobby on the first weekend after Halloween to that “no go” list.
Sometimes it’s just too peopley for this introvert out there. For me, staying away from the crowds is the wisest thing to do.
P.S. When we first thought, years ago, about an Alaskan cruise, I rejected the idea of a cruise being too peopley. It’s true cruises are too peopley, but there are trade-offs in life. The key, I think, it to prepare mentally for them. On cruises we try to arrange everything we can to minimize the too peopley aspect. Then we consciously do an attitude adjustment to deal with the situation we know we can’t avoid. It seems to be working for us. Thank goodness, because we do like to cruise, regardless of the herds of humanity we have to be with to do that.
Leave a Reply