I ran across something I shared, with proper attribution, on Facebook the other day. I don’t know who originally wrote the post, but it was thoughtful, wise, and, in my opinion, correct. You can read the full post here.
Here are the parts that are relevant to my post today.
Between age 55 and the time of death, it is advisable to use the money you have saved. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t save it for those who have no idea the sacrifices you made to obtain it.
Remember there’s nothing more revolting than a son or daughter-in-law coming up with great ideas to spend your hard-earned savings.
Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it sounds wonderful or safe. They only bring problems and worries. It’s time for you to enjoy life.
Stop worrying about your children and grandchildren’s financial situation, and don’t feel bad about spending your money on yourself. You cared for them for many years, and taught them what you can. You gave them education, food, shelter and support. It’s now their responsibility to make their own money.
Always buy the best, the most beautiful items to treat yourself. The key is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss each other, and money will not bring you any comfort; so, enjoy it together.
Don’t stress over the small things. You have overcome so much in life. You have good memories and bad memories, but what matters is the present. Don’t let the past train you and don’t let the future intimidate you. You must feel good in the present.
I’ve alluded in previous posts to my and Randy’s intent to die with just enough money in the bank to settle our final bills. We have a will and set up a trust, but really, I hope there’s not much left to distribute. If something happens to Randy before me, I certainly will not keep this house. Too much work, most of which he currently does. And it’s darned expensive to own a home in Florida with skyrocketing taxes and insurance, maintenance and upkeep. Utilities too are more expensive here than anywhere we’ve ever lived in the past. But this is where, in our waning years, we want to spend the money we’ve earned all our lives. We feel so incredibly rich (having little to do with money) living here.
When my dad passed in December 2017 my mom had never had much interest in their financial situation. Dad took decent financial care of his family, but he was a tightwad and could be a bit of a butt about spending money. In August of that year I had a “sense” that I needed to get home and have a heart to heart talk with dad about the state of their affairs while he was still fairly lucid. I’m glad I did that because he didn’t have a good, viable health care power of attorney or living will.
Dad never had a financial advisor or kept any sort of summary of his policies, bank balances and investments. It was just a pile of papers in a shoebox in his dresser drawer. After my mom and I went through everything with him I made spreadsheet to show them the bottom line of their assets. When I showed Dad the total value on the spreadsheet, he couldn’t believe that his and mom’s net worth was as high as it was. Sadly, just a month after I returned home to do that accounting for them (thank you, Lord, for that “sense” I had in August) he fell and broke his hip.
Dad made a rapid decline after his fall and mom grieved dad’s health and ultimate death a few months later. But she was even more sad, and even a bit angry, that unbeknownst to them, they had plenty of money. They could have done more traveling and engaged in activities they talked about and would have enjoyed together.
I understand how dad thought. He was old enough to remember the suffering of having no money and no hope during the years of the great depression. That makes a huge, lasting impact on a young man who took providing for his family seriously. Saving for another financial downturn is noble, and an awfully hard mindset to break. But mom was right too. What good is dying with a lot of money in the bank? More than things, experiences shared with those you love is a worthy thing on which to spend money you’ve put aside your whole lifetime. We’re grateful Dad left mom in a position to not have to worry about provision for the rest of her life, but there was plenty of money left for both enjoyment and provision.
I have a cousin, now quite well off, who once told me that she and her late husband had an unusual attitude about money. She said they took financial risks and enjoyed their money when they had it. When they were younger, when losing money, sometimes substantial amounts of money, they just shrugged and walked away saying to each other “it’s only money. We’ll make more.” And they did.
I have more than a little bit of my dad in me and I’ve almost always been the financial manager in our marriage. Early on, Randy decided he wanted to take on that role. When the bills came in the mail I’d hang them on the refrigerator for him to pay. Then when the late notices came, I’d also hang those on the refrigerator so he’d notice it was really time to pay the bills. It wasn’t long before we had a “come to Jesus” early marriage “discussion” about ruining our credit rating and the importance of being a financially responsible adult. Randy quickly decided his strong suit is not administration and thereafter left the financial drudgery to me. He is, in fact, quite financially responsible, but he correctly diagnosed that a lot of financial adulting involves routines at which he did not excel. We did, on the monetary front, live happily ever after.
Now we are blessed. We are not “wealthy” by current published guidelines. But we are rich beyond measure with other things. In retirement, as I say in the tag line of this website, true wealth is having control over your own time. We are rich because we don’t have to rely on anyone or anything controlling our time in order to provide for our day to day needs.
According to latest estimates, more than 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. Thankfully, we are far better off than that. We have enough money to do what we want, when we want, how we want as long as our needs are not extravagant. We’ve never been extravagant so that seems eminently doable.
Randy and I agree wholeheartedly that we’re going to spend the money we worked hard to earn and enjoy the rest of our lives together. If we die with just a few dollars left in the bank, well, we did ok. We are rich in many ways, happy about where and how we live, and enjoy decent health. What better way is there to spend your retirement years?
P.S. Only a few more weeks till we embark on our bucket list cruise through the Panama Canal. That’s a perfect example of what this post is about. While we’re gone we’re going to be completely off the grid…no posts for about 2 weeks after Thanksgiving. I love you all, but I can’t wait to just leave you alone without me for a while.
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