I looked up the definition of dichotomy to make sure I was using it correctly in this context. I am, I think. A dichotomy is a contrast between two things that are completely opposite, different, or mutually exclusive. That’s garage sales, people either love them or hate them.
Me, I hate them. I know I shouldn’t be quite so judgmental. They certainly have their purpose. I had one last weekend. I NEEDED to have one after Randy died. And I am grateful to all the people who love them.
A little background. Randy was a creative, thoughtful, inventive guy. He grew up in a household at a time when people found a use for everything. Very little was thrown away because “someday we’ll need that.” Whole things, pieces and parts, didn’t matter. He cut cords off of old lamps that no longer worked, he saved every screw, nail, nut, bolt, scrap of wire over 3 inches long, box, and piece of decent cardboard he ran across.
When we moved from Missouri, we downsized from a 3.5-acre rural property with a 4-car, 2-story garage and a 24” x 36” workshop. He gave up a lot to bring me to this house in Florida with its tiny, barely-2-stall garage. It was chock full of things he couldn’t part with and overflowed into the area outside, around which we had to build a 12” by 20” fenced area to keep the HOA compliance officers at bay.
We reached a truce about how much stuff he had. As long as we could get the car in the garage, I quit griping. Mostly. Randy knew how I felt about his treasures. But it wasn’t worth fighting about. When he died far too quickly in May, I was left with all of it to deal with. It weighed heavily (very, very heavily) on my mind.
His little big sister, Kristine, a garage sale pro (coordinator of her church’s mission trips sale each year) flew down from North Carolina to do what she does so well. Knowing she was coming to help rescue me kept me on track in the long months leading to last weekend. I worked regularly to sort, price, and organize what no longer served me. Still, it felt overwhelming physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The development I live in has a community garage sale twice a year. That creates a lot of quality buying traffic so there was no effort required to advertise and bring people in. We set the date of the sale to coincide with the community event. We knew the big draw would be that the majority of what I was selling was Randy’s stuff, so we made signs to put in the yard that said TOOLS and GUY STUFF. And my location, right on a main thoroughfare street, was perfect.
We were swamped all day on Friday. Many women who stopped were disappointed because it was mostly guy stuff. We just laughed at some of the comments, both pro and con. But the guys were elated! And they have money, too.
Three people besides Kristine were absolute rock stars in helping me with the garage sale. None of them made a big deal about it before the sale. My wonderful friend, Megan, promised she would be here on Saturday morning to help Kristine for an hour or so when I had to run to an important Puzzle Exchange event which had been planned far longer than the garage sale.
What Megan didn’t tell me was that she planned to, and was, at the garage sale every minute. She showed up early Friday morning to help set up, stayed the entire day, helped put stuff away for the night and returned at 8 on Saturday morning to do it all again.
Megan and her husband ran a sort of flea market set up in Pennsylvania for John’s dad’s stuff before they moved down here. She really knew what she was doing. It was delightful to hear her interact with “customers”. Honestly, she has a gift of relating to people. And I will never, ever again hear anyone try harder to sell a $5 patio umbrella than Megan did. And yes, she did sell it—for full asking price.
Thank you, Megan, for your friendship and that incredible gift of help and support last weekend.
My two new next-door neighbors, Michael and Rebecca, also showed up for the entire thing. They did mention in advance they had tables to loan me and would help set up, but again, I didn’t expect them to walk every step of the way with me. It was crucial to the success of the sale, and oh…so humbling to be lifted up and supported like that. I am ridiculously grateful to them as well.
Michael, Rebecca, and Megan, along with a few other friends, have been the foundation of my rock-solid local support system for months. Michael and Rebecca never even met Randy! Here’s a story though, that is almost unbelievable, but true (have a Kleenex handy!).
The girls of the garage sale, Kristine, Megan, Rebecca, and I were hanging around near the end of the day on Friday. We were discussing that Michael & Rebecca closed on their house (next door to me) on July 28 and that’s why they didn’t know Randy or were not here for his interment in August. Rebecca mentioned it was the first house they looked at in late May and that she had a feeling, just something in her gut, that this was the house for them. Because it was the first house they looked at, Michael wanted to look at others. They eventually came back and bought it because Rebecca never lost that sense that it was the house they were supposed to have.
I commented that Randy died in late May. Megan said it would be interesting to know what date they looked at the house. Checking her calendar, Rebecca said they met the realtor at the house on May 26 at 9 am.
I started to cry.
Randy died on May 26 at 9:08 am. I can imagine him on the way out the door, his spirit ascending to his next home, stopping to plant a suggestion in Rebecca’s subconscious… ”buy this house and take care of Laurie for me…”. Because that is exactly what they did. They bought the house and from the moment I introduced myself to them on July 29th, I feel like they took me under their (angel) wings and have been caring for and about me in so many precious ways.
We all cried. When Michael heard the story about an hour later, I could tell it profoundly affected him. “There’s really something there,” he said quietly.
Here’s the dichotomy of garage sales: some people’s junk is other people’s treasures. Some people love them, some people hate them. They are an incredible amount of work and annoyance, they bring great joy and discovery to people.
It was a successful couple of days for me financially and for my peace of mind. It helped simplify my life getting rid of things that meant a lot to Randy but nothing to me. My space is less cluttered and more peaceful.
And the garage sale showed me in a real way how loved I am even though Randy, the one who loved me most, is no longer around to remind me of that.
P.S. I’m in between guests at the moment. My sister-in-law, Laura, arrives on Saturday. It’ll be all play and no work for us next week. YAY!! (Sorry, Kristine…)
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