Nearly 4 years ago (I can’t believe I’ve been writing this blog that long!) one of the first blog posts I wrote here at 68andcounting.com was called There IS a Secret to Happiness. You’ll find the link to that post here.
In it I said, essentially, that the secret to happiness is to live in the now. That living in the past is silly because there’s nothing you can do to change any of it, and living for the future is also silly because it’s not here yet. So many things can happen that can change the future you envision, you might never get there!
All of that’s still true. But I had a revelation last week about another big component of the secret to happiness . I discussed with a beloved niece how Randy and I were feeling during this trying time in our lives. It occurred to me that parts of that discussion would be a good topic for this week’s post.
You may be tempted to throw me out of your life as I wade through some of the points of what I’m thinking. Hang with me though, please. So much of the thought process wound back and forth through parts of my brain that know this truth: The more we know we don’t know, the more we know we don’t know.
I know we don’t know everything about humans and humanity. The Bible hints at it by saying God designed us in His image and likeness. That’s all well and good, but thinking we know everything about God, therefore, we know everything about His image and likeness is just pure arrogance with a hint of idiocy.
I deeply believe in God. And, as I’ve said many, many times, I trust God.
I have also come to believe in reincarnation. (Stay with me, please!)
I’ve hinted at this in previous posts. I’m not trying to convince you I’m right or that you, too, should believe in reincarnation. Randy and I disagree pretty vehemently about this issue.
Christians believe, as do I, that our souls live eternally. The Bible is pretty vague on what happens to souls once they leave this earthly body behind and are resurrected again with glorified bodies after Christ’s return. The most common human belief is that souls hang out in heaven (or hell?) waiting for Christ’s return and Judgment Day. As I said, it’s vague. But it seems to me that when our soul leaves the earthly body and goes (metaphorically) either up or down, that’s judgment. Which begs the question: Is there something a soul can do in that holding place that changes where it spends eternity?
I’ve come to believe (if you want to know more about WHY I believe this, you’ll have to ask me directly) that our souls go to the place where souls exist when they are not incarnated in human form. While there, they plan their next earthly reincarnation. Earthly incarnation is a process of learning to evolve as a spiritual being. Deep, I know. Again, ask me personally if you want to talk more about this. Incarnating as a human is a difficult experience for a soul, and much is learned by living life on earth.
I know how woo-woo that sounds, and that I’m going to lose some of you who will be sure I’m going to hell now. I’m sorry you feel that way. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.
I tell you about believing in reincarnation because it makes more sense to me that one of the things unique to humans, and why souls choose to incarnate on earth, is to experience emotion.
Deep experience of positive emotion is, in my opinion, the secret to happiness. After all, happiness IS the emotion universally sought after.
No one looks for the secret to sadness or anger. We try to overcome fear, regret, shame, and guilt. People go to therapy to learn to get past negative emotion. No one seeks negative emotion.
You know how there are some people you just love to be around? I think these people are souls who have evolved to the highest spiritual levels. They learned to deal effectively with emotions. They understand negative emotions are part of life, but a person doesn’t need to dwell there. They experience fear and do what has to be done anyway (courage). They get angry but forgive and/or forget easily (forgiveness). They rationalize and learn from guilt and shame and forgive themselves (grace). They don’t live in the past where those negative emotions were experienced, they live in the NOW where they can chose and steer the emotion into the positive realm.
As Randy and I walk through this difficult, very emotional journey where his physical illness will likely end his life on earth, I am rediscovering that though life is hard, you can still be happy. It isn’t much of a secret to us, but there are those who are surprised (or amazed) by that.
It’s not always easy to transform negative to positive, but it’s become a habit I’m not interested in breaking. I know I’m pretty good at it because when I cry these day, they’re mostly tears of joy and gratitude. Just this week when we got the call that Randy had been selected to go on an Honor Flight in April, I sobbed. My emotion escaped in deep, wracking, (kind of ugly) sobs. Even Randy was shocked by the depth of my (positive) emotional reaction. I wanted that Honor Flight experience so badly for him.
The Bible doesn’t present happiness as living with ideal circumstances, but as a deep trust in God and His will. It’s described as a “blessed” state of being, rooted in spiritual peace and contentment rather than fleeting earthly pleasures. In the New Testament, “happy” is often translated as “blessed.”
Proverbs 17:22 says “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” Maybe the best medicine.
Randy and I, and all those who love us, will suffer negative emotion on this journey (and in all of life). We are committed to do everything we can to find a silver lining in every dark cloud. We talk about the difficulty, then review the triumph and joy (he ate more yesterday than he did the 3 days before, combined!). We don’t ignore the elephant in the room which is that our soul will absolutely leave the planet without the body it’s lived in while breathing earth air. We are actively and vocally practicing gratitude for what we have rather than looking ahead to what we will lose in the process of transitioning back to our soul state.
There is so much to be thankful for. And gratitude is a key to the secret of happiness.
P.S. Love is the embodiment of every positive human emotion all rolled up into the best emotional package ever. Love intentionally. Love freely. Love deeply. Love exuberantly. Love patiently. Love selflessly.
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